Little Girl

On my way into work today, I heard Tim McGraw's "I Like It, I Love It," and it got me thinking.

There is one line in the song that refers to his girlfriend as "little girl"

Don't know what it is 'bout that little girls' lovin
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it

Why would he refer to his girlfriend as a little girl? Why would anyone? Doesn't that demean the woman?

So I decided to do a search. I went to yahoo music and searched the lyric "little girl" and, of the first 100 displayed) counted how many referred to a "little girl" when meaning woman or young girl.

And while I know that I only looked at the first 100, the results were pretty crazy. There were two and a half more references to a woman as there was to a young girl.

So why is this? Why would singers (or the writers of the songs) do this? You can bet that if anyone wrote a song where someone was singing about a "little boy" and making sexual references, the singer would be booed at any concert.

So what gives?

Best Pick Me Up EVER!!

I work right across the street from a mall and so generally I walk around the mall on my lunch. As I was walking back to work, I was thinking about what I wrote in my previous post and I passed an area that has a small sidewalk.

As I was approaching, I saw a man on his cell phone and a little boy (couldn't have been more than five) playing with one of those collapsible light sabers (it was blue in case anyone cares). As I neared them, the little boy noticed me and walked over to me. I tried to avoid running into him, but he was heading for me dead on. His dad told him to stop, but he refused to listen. Just as I thought he was going to try to fight me with the light saber, he opened his arms up and wrapped them around my legs, giving me a big ol' hug. Surprised, I hugged his head back and smiled at his dad, who shrugged. When he released me, I looked at him, smiled and thanked him.

He must have known I needed a hug. If I believed in guardian angels, this would definitely clinch it for me. I think he was just a perceptive little boy.

So thank you little boy. That was exactly what I needed.

Shower Obnoxiousness

So it's not secret that I'm getting married.

One of my best friends asked to throw me a shower when we got engaged. He was all excited about how he was gonna do it and where he was gonna do it and all sorts of fabulousness. We set a date (Aug 31) and he was going to have his boyfriend send out invites. He started to ask me for addresses in July. I gave them to him at the beginning of August, figuring everything would be fine.

However.

He has since broken up with this boyfriend. He told me that the invites would still be sent out. I started to bug at him for him to send out invites right after I sent him the addresses. He said they'd be done one week, then the next. I called and texted to figure out what was going on. It wasn't until I send a slightly nasty email that he responded, telling me (on Monday of this week) that people should have started to receive them since he sent them "a couple of days ago."

Now.

It is Thursday. I have spoken with different people from all over, trying to assess if they've received invitations. No one I have spoken with has. He texted me yesterday asking if we could get together to discuss stuff and I texted back yes. He never responded so I called him. He yelled at me that he was at work and couldn't text back (how he could answer the phone and not send a text is beyond me). He told me he got off at 7:30 and that he'd call me then.

7:30 came and went.

I phoned him at 8 and then at 8:30 I set him a text. No response. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

My sister (MOH) knows how upset I am over this. I want this shower to happen (it's the one with all my girlfriends) and I want it to happen on that date. She has decided to take over the resonsibilities and has asked me to send her all the phone numbers so she can call people and explain that it's been changed and will be at my parents house.

I have decided to wait to see if it comes in the mail today before I send her the phone numbers. I want to try to get a hold of him, but it seems as though he is ignoring me. I plan to send him an email since it's the only way I was able to get him to respond last time. I don't want to be mean, but I'm so frustrated that I'm ready to cry!

My sister is demanding the phone numbers and says that I owe my friend nothing because he did nothing. I feel like I should give him one more day, but my sister again says I owe him nothing because he screwed me.

Thoughts?

Domestically Challenged

Last night, my parents had a get-together for my sister cuz she came home from Israel.

While we were there, someone asked about stuff for the kitchen and cooking or something, I'm not really sure how it got to this point.

I said something about how I'll probably come home from wedding showers and say "look honey. Look what I got for you," since sweetie enjoys cooking and I'm not really all that keen on it.

My grandmother turned and looked at me and said "no, you're supposed to be learning that stuff."

I replied by telling her that I'm no good at it and she said "you need to learn."

I said "but sweetie enjoys it. Why should I learn if sweetie enjoys doing it?"

She said "well. You have your sign up, right?"

A few years ago, at Hanukkah, my grandmother bought me a placard that says "Domestically Challenged." And it's true. And I love it. But the fact that the sign needed to be up for me to get out of cooking really frustrated me.

Now, I love my grandmother. She's one of the most progressive older people I know. She's open minded and she'll talk about anything you want to talk about. But the fact that she told me I needed to learn how to be in the kitchen really frustrated me. It's as though feminism never happened and women are expected to be in the kitchen. I know plenty of women who do the cooking, but they enjoy it. I cook because I need to eat. I don't enjoy it. I enjoy making salads (and I make really involved salads as long as I have all the ingredients), but that's pretty much the extent. I don't even really like baking.

And so perhaps I'm not a real woman. However, I was so perturbed by her statement that I totally kept it to myself. Is it just me or was her insinuation totally rude and out of line?

Idiocracy, really!

Last night, my future bro-in-law got to pick the movie we watched. He chose Idiocracy, a 2006 Fox movie that opened in 6 markets and had absolutely no marketing. Here is a synopsis:

The purpose of the program set up by the Pentagon, called the "Human Hibernation Project," is designed so that the military can save their best men for when they're needed most. According to the officers heading the project, too many times the talents and expensive training of the best pilots and soldiers go to waste during times of peace. So they enlist Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson), the most average guy they've got, to be a test subject for the initial hibernation experiment along with Rita (Maya Rudolph), a prostitute who agreed to take part in exchange for dropping some criminal charges. The experiment, which was to last only a year, goes under. Due to the massive scandals and base closure that followed, Joe and Rita were forgotten about. They wake up in 2505. By this time, stupid people have outbred intelligent people; the world is (barely) run by morons--and Joe and Rita are the smartest people in America

While I understand the purpose of the movie was so that the creators could showcase how we need smart people in the world and that we need to be sure not to trash the planet, I was extremely offended by certain parts of the movie. For example:

Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know?
Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.

Turns out, anything from Starbucks to H&R Block has been turned into a place where men can get "serviced" by women. The menu outside a Starbucks that the main characters passed a little later on showed a "latte" for $200, a fully body latte for $2,000 and some other disgusting form of latte for $20,000. The fact that this future showed that the only thing women were good for was for sex just infuriated me. Sweetie, ever playing the devil's advocate (as we do whenever one of us gets angry with a movie), tried to point out that there were women in congress as well as a female cabinet member. However, they were not prominently featured. And while I understand that perhaps it had to do with the number of female friends the director/producer had to give parts to, the point was so much taken that I almost threw up after the movie was over.

The overabundance of sex in the movie was unforgivable. No one actually had sex, but the prospect of sex was everywhere. And while I understand this is what someone is saying shouldn't happen, the point was certainly ingrained in my head. Sweetie tried to make the point that men keep women down and that's why the world was fucked up, but I pointed out that if men had fucked up that badly (trash everywhere, no food, no crops growing, etc.), women would certainly come in and clean up the mess. Sweetie (playing devil's advocate) tried to point out that that was the point: to not keep women down. I simply glared at Sweetie.

It was a funny movie, to watch what America had become in their stupidity, but it was also frightening. What if that is our future? The fact that the Secretary of Education was a retarded man who was the brother in law of the president doesn't make it much different from today (just kidding, I actually have no idea who the Secretary of Education is today, but since No Child Left Behind has failed miserably, I can only guess it's true).

I guess all we can do is stop that from happening! And have more women power so we aren't reduced to sex toys!

Patriotism

I have never considered myself to be an extremely proud American. I see the evils that my country presents in the world, I see that the government officials are more willing to bring democracy to other countries than to our own and I see those same government officials denying their own citizens their rights.

I'm not sure that I've ever really considered myself to be a proud American. I always knew that was happy to be an American, but proud? Proud is a word that never entered my vocabulary. From the time I was able to really take speech apart and dissect it, understanding it completely, I have not said the pledge of allegiance. I won't promise to be loyal to a flag. And yes, I understand that the flag is a symbol of the country, but how can I promise to be honest, loyal and true to a country that doesn't want it's citizens to have any rights?

The most amusing thing to me is that my sweetie, one of the biggest liberal democrats I know, has always been a proud American. I've never understood how my sweetie can do it, be so proud of a country that has screwed us over so many times I can't even count. Thank god for California, as I am insanely proud to call myself a proud Californian, as we are one of the progressive, liberal thinking states. And thank god for that!

Parade Magazine asked each of the candidates to give their ideas of what patriotism is. Based upon the dictionary's definition, patriotism is defined as:

Devoted love, support, and defense of one's country; national loyalty; Love of country and willingness to sacrifice for it.

Willingness to sacrifice for it? Interesting to me.

In any case, the two candidates each wrote an article for Parade. McCain invoked ancient images of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson whereas Obama was more personable. Their quick answers to the question are as follows:

McCain: 'Patriotism is putting country first before all else.'

Obama: 'Patriotism means faith in one another as Americans.'

Something tells me that McCain isn't going to win the youth vote by suggesting that more of us go into the military.

And if these are the definitions of Patriotism that I am given to work with, I can now call myself a proud American. Because I do have faith in my fellow Americans. I can honestly say, when I'm not driving, that I believe that all Americans, no, all humans, are inherently good and are not out to screw their fellow humans. And perhaps I'm a bit naive in that view. But I'd like to think it's the truth.

And if you don't think it is, go to a baseball game. Sit in the middle of a full row. Order food from a vendor. Pass a $50 down the row. Guess what? You're going to get what you ordered as well as your change. People are inherently good.

So thank you, Barak Obama. You have given me a reason to call myself a proud American and to take pride in what we can accomplish. Because we can accomplish it. Yes we can.

Oh Good Grief!!!

I thought we had gotten to a point where women weren't self-hating. But, apparently I was wrong.

Thank you to feministing for this article on CEO Barbie.

How could a woman bring this up? And to have a man give the following quote makes me want to throw up:

"This doll furthers the myth that if a woman works hard and sticks to her guns, she can rise to the top," said Frederick Lang of the Changes Institute, a children's advocacy organization. "Our young girls need to learn to accept their career futures, not be set up with ridiculously unattainable images."

While Barbie may be anti-feminist in the way she looks, there is nothing wrong with what Barbie can do. The reason Barbie exists is so that young girls can shoot for the stars. And guess what? If they choose to not take the CEO path, they know that it is open to them. That's what feminism is about, the choice of what a woman wants to do. That's what the fight has forgotten.

And the fact that women need to "accept their career futures" infuriates me! How dare a man say that? Because he's a man he gets to say misogynistic things like this? He gets to call us second-class citizens?

I am so offended by this man that I am thinking about sending him hate mail.

Anyone else?

EDIT:

I just talked to my coworker and he informed me that the Onion, while amusing, is not a reputable source of information. However, the fact that they think that this is A-funny, B-amusing or C-satire is absurd. It's offensive and it really makes me want to write to them. I won't, but it's really frustrating.

I thought about taking the blog down, but I think I'll leave it up. It shows that people still think that misogyny is funny and that this is something we need to combat.