The #metoo campaign has been strong and powerful, but it's not really enough because it, yet again, puts the onus on the woman, which is completely and totally unacceptable, which speaks to this graphic:
While we'd like to see men sit there and say "I've done these horrible things and am trying to make amends by teaching others that my behavior is unacceptable and not doing them again," instead we get the bullshit "not all men" answer.
We also get crappy answers from supposed feminists like Mayim Bialik saying "I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy." And then when she's called out for her offensive and ridiculous statements, she goes on to say "Anyone who knows me and my feminism knows that's absurd and not at all what this piece was about." It's not my job to know her. I can only take what she says at it's face value, which was a blaming accusation against women who dare to be themselves.
An artist named Arvida Byström posed as part of Adidas' most recent campaign where she posed alongside her natural body hair. She got rape threats from this campaign, which is, again, totally awful. But her response about it had one of the most eye-opening statements I think I've eve read. "I do think it is a problem that men use sexually violent language when women doesn’t abide." In case you didn't know, the definition of abide is to bear patiently, to endure without yielding. This is the greatest explanation of how I've been feeling. In this regard, men are not asking us to accept but to abide, to stand by while they feel better about themselves. And when we try to fight back, when we try to tell them the horrible things they've been doing, they whine and whimper that "not all men are like that" or that we're "offending" the "good guys" by lumping them together with the bad ones.
A friend of mine put it beautifully:
There are no good men. As long as we live in a world where any man at anytime can assault women and femmes and be believed, none of us can be "good ones."I am generally an open book. Ask and ye shall receive. But with this campaign, I don't feel empowered. I feel vulnerable. Like by somehow outing myself with the rest of the strong, powerful, amazing women I've seen partake in this movement, I've lost something of myself. So I choose not to post. I choose to spectate and love my fellow women brave enough to stand up. And hopefully, by supporting them, I'll feel support too.
As long as any man can be believed as part of the discrediting of women or femmes in their fight for sexual autonomy, none of us are "good."
