The loss of a hero

So my sister graduated high school. It was a nice event, but because of where my parents live, the crowd of over two thousand people (I think) was insane, screaming and at one point, smoking (so gross).

Anyways, that was Thursday. On Saturday, my parents had a graduation party for my sister. It was lovely. Lots of people that we see often plus some we don't see all that often.

At one point, sweetie and I sat talking with one couple who my parents are basically best friends with. We had exchanged emails, dealing in anti-McCain material, throughout the previous weeks. I mentioned that sweetie and I were both very passionate feminists, somewhere stuck between second wave and third wave. The wife asked me an interesting question:

"Why feminism?"

I responded by saying things such as the fact that women have been beaten down throughout history, etc. etc. She said:

"What about equality for race?"

I told her that that was also something I was passionate about, but I couldn't speak on it because I am not a woman of color and I do not know how the women of color would feel were I to speak for them. Then she asked:

"Why not humanism?"

She went on to ask if I was so passionate about equality under the law, why only take up feminism. Not that there's anything wrong with feminism, she said, but why stop there? I didn't have a good answer.

As passionate as I am about LGBT & women's issues, I feel I can speak for them because I am associated in one way or another to each. But I don't feel like I can talk about what it's like to be an African-American gypsy living in America. Because I am none of those components. And while I am not ashamed of what I am, I cannot be confident in saying that the African-American gypsy community would be behind what I have to say.

This got me thinking about why American second wave feminism died. It died because once a few things got pushed through, everyone forgot about the common goal. The common goal was to provide equal rights for all women, regardless of race, creed, religion or sexual orientation. However, that all got pushed to the side. Either because the African-American gypsies were not happy with what the white, middle class women were saying or because people simply forgot why we needed each other.

There are so many groups set out to help and deal with issues relating to all sorts of people. And while most of them are meant to be inclusive, I never felt like I could be apart of them all. In college, I was extremely active in my LBGTQIA association. However, I couldn't bring myself to go to a QPOC (Queer People of Color) meeting. I am not of color and felt that my presence there would upset people. But how could I upset them if I'm trying to work for their rights as well? Is it that they don't want my help? Or is it just that they feel like the stupid little white girl would try to take over things?

I think I'd like to change my diction, but not my position. I'll revert back to when I was in college. I was part of a sorority that was having trouble finding it's niche. Being part of a traditionally Jewish chapter, we had problems when potential new members would ask "so, do you only take Jews? Why would I, a non-Jew, want to be a part of your sorority?" My answer was always "I am part of a non-discriminatory sorority. We take all sorts. Jews, non-Jews, Atheists, Agnostics. Gay, Straight, Bi. Black, White, Asian, Latino. You should want to be part of us because we are a diverse group. And we thrive on that diversity. We are nothing without that diversity." And I think that is the way I am going to try to live my life.

I am going to try to stop being afraid of what people will say. I am going to try to be the change that I want to see.

I titled this blog "the loss of a hero" for a reason. The world truly cried with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. died. The world had lost a leader. Not just a spiritual leader, but a civil rights leader. Someone who could speak and galvanize the masses. Someone who understood that we all needed each other to take the next step toward acceptance. Not tolerance. Tolerance is not enough. We need acceptance. And we need it soon.

So as I have said, I am going to try to be the change I want to see.

The only question is how.

I'm open to suggestions.