To pre or not to pre?

We put kiddo into preschool this year, less than a month ago.

On the first day, neither Sweetie nor I got a great feeling from the teacher. Almost like she didn't approve of our situation. She also was very rude to Sweetie when discussing toilet training, simply telling Sweetie to put our kiddo on the toilet and let the kiddo sit there.

Strike 1-sorta

On the second day, Sweetie took kiddo to school and at pick up time, the teacher told Sweetie that kiddo went potty and so kiddo got an M&M. Not previously discussed with us.

Strike 1.5

On the third day, Sweetie was running late so didn't get to talk to the teacher about the M&M. At pick up, teacher sent kiddo home in underwear NOT provided by us and told Sweetie "not sure if your carseat is waterproof, but just go for it."

Also, since day 2, kiddo having nightmare.

Strike 2

Had a meeting with the assistant director about our frustrations, both with communication (SEVERE lack which hasn't even been mentioned here) and the teacher's incompetence. Kiddo moved to a new room where while kiddo goes 2 days a week, rest of kids go 5. Also discussed that calendar sent home had wrong dates on it, given new calendar to properly match website. (Later I had to call to inform them that dates were STILL wrong)

Kiddo in new classroom, no more nightmares.

Finally got proper communication with school (end of week letter sent home) and was met with lovely pictures of kiddo playing and looking like a fun time was being had. Checked website to see that a closed day was coming up, but it was not in the calendar sent home. Called. Confirmed that website is wrong.

ALSO found out that school pictures were taken, with NO notice being sent home to inform parents.

No communication about what is being taught/learned so we can reinforce at home, no communication about photos and wrong information on both the sent home calendar and the website calendar.

We're not being picky. We just want communication.

How effing hard is that???

Passive Aggressive - Inner monologue

Disclaimer: Yes, there is much more important things going on in the world right now. As I cannot intelligently express how I feel about them in ways others have not already done, I can focus on the negative aspects of my life in order to clear my head to be able to do some good in the world. Because if I focus on this too much, I can't do anything else today.

Passive aggressive is such a necessary enemy, at times.

Hence this post.

Which is commenting on passive aggressive behavior.

Most likely the person this is about won't read this. And that's most likely good.

In any case,

Srsly though? Don't comment about what other people do on social media by acting like a self-righteous, high-and-mighty asshole. Social Media is a giant force you cannot stop. It's how tons of people get their news and by spreading around important information, perhaps some people will realize what's going on. And if not, that's fine too.

Your comments were not nice and not in good faith of friendship. They were terribly rude, as it's incredibly obvious you were talking about Sweetie, who is more than willing to look past your intense obnoxiousness. I'm not.

And it makes me kinda loathe you.

And you're already on thin ice in my book right now.

Not that you actually care.

But it makes me feel better to think that you should care, because I've known you for 10 years. And if you're grating on me this much, without actually knowing it, maybe it's time we part paths and go our separate ways.

Although it's not like we see each other more than once per year, and sometimes not even that. Nor do we talk. And when I try, either by contacting you or your SO, I get ignored. Like earlier this week, when I emailed your SO and wrote the line "but if you don't want to see us, then nevermind." And I never heard back.

So I guess you don't want to see us.

Maybe I should take the hint.

Okay, that's good.

Hint taken.

Gotcha.

Done.

Sigh.

::Goes about her day and does nothing about what's written above::

Letter To Congressman Royce

As I said, I'd post what I'm writing to the Congressman. You can read it below. I think it will be interesting to see how old the Congressman thinks I am. My writing style is very young (notice the circles over the i's), but what I talk about it older than I am.

I'll be honest, I went on a tangent, but I'm okay with that. :)

Media Bias

I have always thought of myself as being Liberal, but fair. I have always assumed that the media, while slightly biased, was not getting everything wrong.

I'm beginning to see how naive I was.

This was posted to Jezebel. Yes, the situation that the video shows is horrendous. It is appalling, and it goes against everything the group stands for. Their byline is "Not Racists - Not Violent - Just No Longer Silent." They were indeed not silent nor violent then, but they threw incredibly racist and demeaning epithets to those entering a peaceful building.

This video was obviously meant to showcase how evil the Tea Party is and how they need to, oh I don't know, how should I put this, meet those Marines that Villa Park Councilwoman Deborah Pauly speaks of?

While watching this video, my face turned ghost white, because Ed Royce is MY Congressman. I sat back, appalled that I was watching this. The man who represents MY area (and believe it or not, the man I voted for because I did not agree with the Democratic representative) was condoning such slander and such hate.

I almost threw up.

At that moment, this guy I know walked into where I was and asked what was wrong. I was able to explain the situation and we were able to have a meaningful, interesting conversation about the situation, once we had all the facts.

And the facts are these:

• The Islamic Circle of North America had two speakers on February 13th, Imam Siraj Wahhaj and Br. Amir Abdel Malik.
• Ed Royce and Deborah Pauly and Gary Miller spoke about terrorism.
• Protesters descended on the event as people were walking into the center.
  

Ed Royce has issued this statement. Neither of the other two government representatives have.

CAIR Los Angeles issued the video to serve their purposes.

And the video was picked up.

All

Over

The

Country

What happens when small town news becomes national headlines? The facts get lost and the people get attacked. Yes, the protesters screamed hateful and vile things, but that does not mean that they are representative of the groups hosting the protest. As Royce mentions, he and his fellow speakers were at a park adjacent to the community center.

As you can tell from the video, the protesters are there when the attendees are entering and you can see how light it is outside. You can see more of that light when the Congressmen and the Councilwoman are speaking. You can also see that behind the speakers, there is a plethora of flags and the protesters seem to also have a plethora of flags. I can hardly imagine that there were that many flags brought to the event.

That being said, I could be totally wrong. I could be totally wrong in assuming that the three speakers had no knowledge of the protest until it hit the internet. I could be totally wrong in assuming that they were not supportive of the situation.

I hope I am not wrong.

We may not see eye-to-eye with everyone present, but I think that we understand that fringes on both sides of the aisle tend to muck up things for others. And to quote this guy I know:

Granted, there are many hateful people out there, on both sides, but this may not be as clear cut as "peace-loving, women-helping, homeless-feeding Muslims attacked by racist, sexist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, Tea Party Christians just for being Muslim." Then again, this particular group might contain just some of those people.

And the other thing that has not really been mentioned by anyone is the other groups who supposedly were a part of this whole thing. The focus has been solely on the hatred and the fact that it was the Tea Partiers who perpetrated it. The others involved were Rabbi David Eliezrie of Chabad — Yorba Linda, North Orange County Conservative Coalition, and ACT! for America. From everything I've read and posted here, it would seem like it was fringes of each of these groups, including the Tea Party/Glenn Beck's We Surround Them 912. And fringe members are incredibly hard to control, as I'm sure all of us are aware.

And yes, the fact that a Rabbi has been implicated in this mess is beyond embarrassing.

I plan to write a hand written letter to Ed Royce asking for an explanation of the situation. I want to know if he knew about the protest, wanted to participate in it and couldn't or had no knowledge of the situation. From what I've read, there were hundreds of people at the protest, but the video showed there to only be around 50 who were yelling epithets.

So keep tuned here. I promise to update with my letter and with a response, if I get one, from Congressman Royce.

A quarter of a century

Yesterday I turned 25.

It was a really nice day. Work was busy and I was constantly being interrupted by the 50+ text messages from people on facebook wishing me a happy birthday, which was amazing. It's incredible that so many people form all walks of life come together on facebook to join in on your birthday and wish you many happy returns. Even people I haven't seen in over 15 years were wishing me happy birthday, which is quite amazing since I last saw them in 5th grade.

I went out to dinner with Sweetie on Sunday and then Sweetie and I went out with my parents and my sister yesterday (to seriously one of the most amazing restaurants I've been to).

It amazes me that there can be so much love in my small part of the world and yet so much hate in the rest of it.

In the last few weeks, there have been far too many reports of teens taking their lives because of being bullied due to their sexual orientation. Since September 28th, 21 year old Jeanine Blanchette and 17 year old Chantal Dube from Canada; 17 year old Felix Sacco from Saugus, MA; 15 year old Harrison Chase Brown from Rand, CO; Caleb Nolt from Fort Wayne, IN; 19 year old Raymond Chase from Monticello, NY; Asher Brown from Texas; 19 year old Tyler Clementi from Rutgers University; Seth Walsh from Tehachapi, CA; and 8th grade Asher Brown from Texas have all taken their own lives due to this tragic situation.

These poor people, who did not live to be my age, had lives that were filled with hate and with anger from people who reinforced the ideals that different is wrong and that tolerance and acceptance are wrong ways of living. They were pushed and hurt to the point that nothing anyone could do seemed to be a way out, so they found their own. The schools didn't step in to stop the bullying, the parents of the students doing the bullying seem to have said "well, kids will be kids" (Kathy Griffin's words) and the bullies themselves seem to think that this is okay.

That is one thing I don't think I'll ever understand. Why bullying someone is okay. Why beating someone up is okay. Why ANY of this is okay, in ANYONE'S understanding of the world.

Why is it okay to hurt someone because they are not like you?

I suppose this would explain my confusion to racism, sexism, ageism, bigotry and xenophobia.

Back to my birthday.

Last night, Margaret Cho was on dancing with the stars and she brought this subject to light for millions of people who may not have otherwise known about it. See her dance and at around 5:50 hear her plea to end this abomination.

I don't know that I would have used the words that Sarah Silverman did, but it's hard to disagree with her. Children do not create intolerance within themselves. It is a learned behavior, one that gets passed down from parent to child.

Just as we are angry in America with hatred and violence being perpetrated in other countries against us by people who are taught from the time they could walk that Americans are evil and infidels, so to should we be angry at the perpetrators of hatred in this country.

For those who spew vile and hateful things, your time to have the airways is slowing down. How anyone could kiss their children good-night with a mouth that spews arrogance and hatred, bigotry and lies, intolerance and hegemonic statements boggles my mind.

And yes, to COMPLETELY generalize, those who tend to make those statements tend to make them with a religiously backed protocol.

There's only one problem with this (and I know I'm preaching to the choir with the readers I have, but bear with me):

JESUS
PREACHED
LOVE

Remember "turn the other cheek" and "love the sinner, hate the sin"? What do you have to say to that Fred Phelps? What do you have to say to that Uganda? What do you say to that Steven L. Anderson? How about you Pepsi?

According to the Beatles, Love is All You Need. It's such a shame that no one seemed to listen.

The Stupid Meter is on High Today

For some reason, I thought that the article on YahooShine entitled "12 Things to Talk about on Date Night (Besides the Kids!)" would have proved to give more information than stupidity. I suppose I should have known, we are talking about Shine here.

Let's go over the (proper, and it's sad that I have to write that) way you actually get to the kids phase. You meet someone. You find them interesting in one way or another. You talk, get to know each other. You spend hours on the phone and in each other's presences trying to figure out if this is the right person for you. Then one of you suggests getting married/having a commitment ceremony. The other accepts. The ceremony is planned, the honeymoon set. You get back, wait a determined amount of time (different for each couple) and decide to have kids. You have them, your world is swallowed up by them and then, it's time for date night.

You get a baby-sitter, you go out to dinner/show/movie/etc. But oh no! What in the world should you talk about? I know! How about the first two things on the list? Your goals and your childhood. Because there is no way in the process of getting to know each other that you didn't discuss what it was like to grow up. You've never mentioned to your significant other about how you used to watch the Brady Bunch with your family or how you weren't allowed to watch the Simpsons when you were a kid. Wow! What an amazing idea! Your childhood! And wait, let's not forget those goals. There's no way you forgot to mention that you'd like to be a lumberjack (insert singing here) and move to the forest. How could that possibly have slipped your mind during the ceremony planning process?

The third idea is TV and movies. Oh lordy be, one of them talkin' picture boxes? It sure would be nice if pa would hep you out and buy one of dem thaings. Then baby Jonnie-Ray would be able to learn his A, B, Cs from that funny lookin' yellow bird. Something tells me that as a parent, after the kids go to sleep, you'd like to zone out to some TV. And while you might only see movies after they're on DVD, I'm sure that you've discussed which ones to buy before running out and purchasing them.

Number four on the list is your friends. Really? You don't EVER talk to your significant other about your friends? In the information age of twitter, facebook, the iphone and the droid, this is just absurd. Unless you're going to gossip about how Sally Sue and Bob Smith are both cheating on each other, something tells me this has already been discussed. And the same goes for point number ten - Your family. Maybe your significant other doesn't want to hear about your sister's ingrown toenail over soup. Or you don't want to hear about their brother's inability to get it up. Or why Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Arnie are getting a divorce. Why would you need to discuss this on a night out?

Number five on the list is Home Improvement Projects. Yes, because while you are away from the house, what you both want to be thinking about is the closet full of crap that you can't find any place for because one or both of you won't build/buy the damn storage container that sits outside. Because you need to harp on how they haven't fixed the drain and they need to complain about your inability to tell the paper boy to stop throwing the paper in the mud on purpose.

Number six is sports. Yes, on a night out, away from everything, gazing into each other's eyes, please bring up how Getzlaf sprained his ankle but thank heavens he'll still be able to play. It's just so romantic.

Number seven is your next vacation. Now, why would you want to discuss this without your children? Don't you think that this is something they might want to weigh in about? If you have decided that you'll be going to Montgomery, Alabama but one of your kids wants to make the trek to Marceline, Missouri, why not?

Number eight deals with politics. My argument against this would be the same as for the sports, unless arguing gets you both hot and bothered. Then, by all means, enjoy.

Number nine is celebrities. Again, same rationale as for the sports. Except this doesn't really impact your lives. So why bother? Who cares if Paris Hilton got a new nose or if Heidi Montag's left buttcheek fell off again. It's not romantic and it does not belong on your night out.

Number eleven is Life Before Kids. Because you need to reminisce about how wonderful things were when there were no children. Reminds me too much of The Way by Fastball. Seems dumb also, because then you go home and realize that you still have to feed the dog and make lunches for tomorrow and that you can never escape the life you have now.

The last point is your love. And yes, I think this is a fine thing to discuss.

As for a different list of what to talk about on a date night without the kids, why don't you just try to figure it out on your own? Because if you need a list to tell you things to talk to the person you are supposed to be deeply in love with, something tells me that the relationship just isn't going to last.

How Old Do You Have To Be To Be An Adult?

I read an article today about the new laws about credit cards (i.e. interest rates, etc.) and this just totally struck me as odd and unfair:

As part of a series of new rules aimed at protecting consumers, the measure forbids banks from issuing a credit card to anyone under 21: unless the consumer has the ability to make the required payments or obtains the signature of a parent or other cosigner with the ability to do so.

Now how is a student supposed to be able to go to school, take out loans and then attempt to live? How are they supposed to learn how to make good spending choices or help get us out of the recession we're in? How are they supposed to be able to rent an apartment, buy a car, purchase a home, etc. if they have no credit? How can they get credit? Oh, if their parent allows them to have one. How many parents who can't afford to put their kids through college want to be the cosigner on the credit card that their kids have?

At what age do we say that people are adults? You have to be 18 to vote, buy cigarettes and play the lotto, but you have to be 21 to drink, gamble and charge? That doesn't seem to make too much sense. We tell our kids that at 18 they are responsible for their actions. At 18, a person is no longer able to be put into juvenile detention and must be tried "as an adult," which at that point they are. So instead of saying to an 18 year old "charge well or you'll pay the consequences," we're telling them that they still need mommy and daddy's permission to go to the movies.

I'll borrow from my co-worker and call the country a nanny-ing one. I tend not to do that, but for heavens sakes people!

Seriously? Boobs are for feeding babies?

Man, people are certainly dumb!

I just read a post on fbomb and am completely amazed and disgusted to what I've now been opened up to.

Here's the post.

I think the question posited is a good one. Would my life be easier without boobs? And I think the answer is yes and no. My breasts are such a part of who I am. I cannot imagine myself without them for the same reason I don't straighten my hair. I am a bigger person - I have a big personality, big curly hair, big loud mouth, big boobs, etc. I don't straighten my hair because everything else would be strange and awkward. I don't think about lessening my breasts for the same reason. My breasts also fit my body type as I am an hourglass figure.

But at the same time. My breasts are an inconvenience. They are a bit large on my frame and so they look enormous. They make it so I have to purchase clothing that fits them, but not my waist. They are not comfortable touching my skin and I must always wear a bra. My back hurts, my shoulders hurt and sometimes, I just want to cut them off.

But to be sure, I know the reason for them. (Note: entering a rant) Which is why the conversation of a reduction is so far beyond my years. At 24 years old, I have had no children. I tend to get "suggestions" from those who have "been there" telling me that it was the "best thing they ever did" and I should "definitely consider doing it sooner rather than later." Much like the whole when-are-you-going-to-have-a-baby bullshit, this is no one's business but my own. And while I appreciate the advice from my elders, I have to make the decision. No amount of "here do this" is going to sway me, and if those people knew me at all, they would know to stop. (Note: end of rant)

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. For women to not know the purpose of their own breasts is appalling. And while it was an online forum and people tend to troll and screw around, I can't help but wonder if in fact people are really that stupid. To read that a female posted the response of "Um, what do you mean ‘feed babies’? That’s not what boobs are for! That’s what formula is for! Boobs arn’t utters! they are for boys to look and play with!" makes me want to scream and crawl into a hole. How can we expect to raise proper children (or decent ones at best I suppose) when these are the sorts of people who vote, process your credit card payments and help you at the bank? I don't understand the stupidity of it all!

It takes me back to a time in college where a friend of mine told me of a discussion she had with her boyfriend at the time about her period. She was mentioning how it was very light and they got concerned. He told her not to worry and to let him know what happened "the next time she peed." He honestly thought that menstrual blood came out of the urethra and exited the body upon urination.

Misconceptions about Sex

While reading this article, I can only reiterate my issues with abstinence only education. I have no problem telling kids that they should wait, that they should be prepared. I also have no issue explaining that the only thing that is 100% effective is abstinence. But I also think that kids, of appropriate ages, should get the whole facts about sex. I mean really, for heaven's sakes:

The survey of 1,800 people age 18 to 29 was conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy....Myths about pregnancy and sexual activity continue to permeate circles of young people. For instance, 28 percent of men incorrectly believe they will get extra protection from wearing two condoms at once, a practice that actually leads to condom breakage. At the same time, 18 percent of men wrongly believe that having sex standing up reduces the chance that they will get a female partner pregnant. (Emphasis mine)

This is the problem with abstinence only education! To mislead our kids and give them false information not only showcases a lack of trust and honesty with our kids, but it sets them up for failure and disappointment. It also shows that we don't think we've done a good enough job raising them because we feel the need to lie to them instead of simply explaining the situation at hand.

To quote an episode of Roseanne:

Jackie: Remember, Mom told us that if we let a boy go all the way, we'd be called loose or slutty. Like that was gonna stop us.
Roseanne: Yeah. She shoulda told us we'd be called Mommy.

The truth works far better than any lie. And it's also much scarier. But it has to be the whole truth. Telling our kids that putting a condom on will give you a disease or that taking birth control guarantees cancer just leads them to believe that not doing either is better for them. It's best to explain the pros and cons of each aspect. That yes, taking birth control can raise your risk for certain cancers, but it can also help regulate a woman whose periods never come regularly. That yes, having sex with a condom is safer than not, but that you also need to use a condom or dental dam whenever possible even with oral sex. The number of young people out there who don't believe oral sex to be sex is astounding. I have seen studies (here, here, and here) where people don't recognize the fact that they can get cancer from HPV in their throats from oral sex. If they used a condom or a dental dam, they wouldn't need to worry.

Now of course, I have no children, so anything I have to say could be biased based upon the fact that I've never had to sit a child down and discuss this. But at the same time, I was raised this way. My parents were never shy about anything. I remember being on the way to religious school, asking my dad what each of the different curse words meant and having him explain them to me.

Schoolhouse rock was right. Knowledge is power!

Tech-nical difficulties

I've been speaking about this to some friends lately and now that the report is out, I think that people might start to pay attention to it.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the problem of non-face-to-face interaction.

• JUST BECAUSE I TYPE IN ALL CAPS does not mean I'm shouting. I could have accidentally done it and not cared to go back and change.
• People will forget how to spell. When someone types something worng, there is a little red line that comes underneath it. All I have to do is right-click on it, and the correct word will be brought up.
• For someone who chooses not to use punctuation the internet can be a frightening place I mean really how difficult is it to understand that I hate melons potatoes and fish fries are yummy though

Even using proper capitalization has gone by the wayside. And also, with the advent of twitter, "Would you like to meet me today at the park for a game of baseball? Susie, James, Fred, Daphne and Luis will all be there and haven't seen you for a while. Oh, and can you bring some beer? Thank you." becomes "wanna play baseball 2day? B @ park w/ beer & hang with us". That's 199 characters down to 57 and a thought out sentence down to drivel. Incredible. Most people would say that the language used in the first statement is too flowery. Things don't need to be that complex, people would say. Well I disagree.

Part of what separates us from animals is our ability to have a language - oral and written. And while our oral language is going downhill (as can be seen from the Budweiser commercials slovenly stating "wazzup"), that is for another post. Our ability to understand Shakespeare comes from the fact that we are part of the later English movement. First there was Old English, then Middle English and now our English. We can understand Shakespeare and he could understand us, but neither of us can understand Chaucer.

And yet language is always changing. Always attempting to be perfected by some, altered by others, improved upon by a few and simplified by most. People are mystified by the "classics," most stating that we don't read them enough. Is it because they are boring, slow, depressing? Sort of, but mostly it is because of a few things: 1) We do not have the attention span to sit down and read a book; 2) The imagery is too old and thus unrelatable to modern students; 3) Most people simply think, why read the book when I can rent the movie?

Our fast-paced life has given us such little time to truly appreciate things. I mean really, when was the last time you actually took the time to smell the roses? Watch a hummingbird? Watch your (if you have them) children sleep and wonder what they're dreaming about? But must our speech and diction reflect this?

Oh, sorry. Back to the topic at hand. The point of what I was trying to say is that so much of how we communicate is based upon the pauses and inflections we use. How and when we pause. How long we pause for. Which section of the sentence we are focusing on comes from the inflection, which is why in looking at "the dove dove," we are unsure if we are speaking mostly about the animal or the action.

Children who grow up solely on the technologically advanced software will most likely have large issues with this subject, as well as any sort of human interaction. I just hope that we as parents and to-be parents (note that I did not write SOON-to-be, just to-be, you know, in the next ten years or so) can see this coming, dodge the bullet and raise our children to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted, eloquent and gracious individuals.

Have a doula in the room

Dear New Jersey,

You suck. This is disgusting.

Sincerely,

The world.

Communication is so very much needed

The George Tiller atrocity has hit so many bloggers so deep. The pain is so fresh, so new. He was shot in front of his wife and daughter in church. It doesn't get much worse than that.

And yes, this is not a new phenomena. It's been happening for years. But don't you think, in a time like this, with an African-American president, an attempt at middle east peace and an advancement in alternative energy sources, we should try to make the best of the situation? Yes, it was a horrible event. My heart absolutely bleeds for his family. Yes, I think the killer should be put to death (I'm a fan of capitol punishment. Death on both ends of the spectrum. I'm very consistent). But I also think this could open up lines of communication.

I mentioned this story to my Conservative, Republican, pro-life coworker (believe it or not, we get along rather well). I didn't even finish getting the words out of my mouth when he said "that's not pro-life. How can you be pro-life and murder someone?" I am so thankful for people like that, who can see that this idea makes no sense.

He mentioned that now all the pro-choice people will label pro-lifers as such and that there was a severe lack of communication. And I think it's true. For years, growing up, I understood pro-life in the following manner (kudos to those of you who know where this is from):

"Pro-life. Pro-life. These people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! What kinda pro-life is that? What, they'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets: anti-woman...They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a brood-mare for the state. Pro-life. You don't see any of these white, anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No, you don't see 'em adopting a whole lotta crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do."

And guess what? Not all pro-lifers are like that. But I had no idea! And I was not raised as a radical pro-choicer. I wasn't even raised as a pro-choicer. I made the decision on my own. But again, the lack of communication is immense.

Neither side will sit down with the other and find common ground. So many pro-lifers think that pro-choicers want every woman to have an abortion. And that's not true! So many pro-choicers think that pro-lifers don't care about anything except preserving their way of life, and anyone else who gets in their way be damned. And that's not true either!

It seems that we will not be able to have the more perfect union that we had dreamed of. When each side is too stubborn, too set in their ways and too hateful of the other side to even begin to be able to talk, we have a problem. The American Dream has always been to be able to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, to have a large sense of patriotism and to feel like this is one big melting pot. Unfortunately, none of these seem possible anymore.

Oh sure, there are those lucky families who come to America with $1.70 in their pockets and 50 years later, they are doing well enough to travel 5 times a year. But unfortunately, not everyone is as motivating.

And yes, there are those who have a large sense of patriotism. But unfortunately, those who feel patriotic usually attack those who might not feel as patriotic. And as one of those who has felt the attack, from my perspective, it seems as though the patriotism has become part of the Republican definition. When Bush was in office and Barak Obama was running, the tabloids, newspapers and news stations had a FIELD DAY when Michelle Obama said she was "finally proud of her country" or something like that. They went after her, saying how could she expect her husband to get elected if she's not patriotic. This led to, or was part of, I cannot remember, the whole American flag pin fiasco which in and of itself was ridiculous.

As to the melting pot. There are so many people in this country who feel like it is their duty to tell others to "go back to where they came from." And some people who get this treatment have been here for years and years.

The hand out generation is coming into play in the world spectrum. And I'm really worried of what it will do to our reputation. Yes, our reputation is in the process of being repaired, but can you imagine a Secretary of State who throws a temper tantrum because they get a dirty spoon at a State Dinner? That is my ultimate fear.

In any case, I guess this turned into a lot different of a post than what it started as. Talk to people. Open lines of communication. Even with people who you don't think would EVER want to listen to you. It's good to get other ideas. You might even expand your own thoughts.

Valentine's Day - Ick!

I hate Valentine's Day. Wait, I should preface that. I hate Valentine's Day as an adult. As a kid, you get to exchange Valentines with everyone in your class and everyone feels included. Parents usually encourage their kids to even give one to the kid they hate or don't get along with, to encourage friendship.

When I was a kid, we got the cutest things for Valentine's day from our parents and something from Sees from my grandfather (by the way, both of these still happen). They'd always get us some sort of cute stuffed animal with some sort of candy attachment and maybe some socks or something. The one year I did have a special someone over Valentine's day, my parents made sure that the whole family was going to go to Palm Springs (and I mean WHOLE - grandparents, aunt & uncle, etc.) and since cell phones were not prevalent, if my special someone wanted to wish me happy Valentine's day, they'd have to leave a message on the home machine. I was furious with my parents. I felt like they were trying to keep me apart from my special someone and deliberately planned the trip so that I couldn't be near my someone. However, this is also the most memorable Valentine's day because I was just getting into Offspring and, as part of my Valentine's day gift, my parents bought me one of their tapes. I completely forgot about being apart from my someone and reveled in my happiness. (As an end to the story - the special someone and I had been together 3 months and being young and stupid, I realized I didn't want to be with them and thus broke up with them the next day at school stating "yeah, this isn't really working for me.")

But as an adult, Valentine's day has sort of been a nothing. Mine and sweetie's anniversary is February 10 so we just celebrate that. But then we got married and we decided, eh, what's the point of Valentine's day? I listen to people talk about it and I watch people get angry over it. Women who get angry when their husbands or boyfriends don't buy them the roses or the candy or the whatever. I told sweetie that if sweetie bought me flowers or sent me flowers, sweetie would be sleeping on the couch for quite some time. I hate the fact that it's implied that one part of the couple needs to do something for the other based upon supposed gender roles. The man is the one who goes all out for Valentine's day. Why? Why can't the woman? I have a couple of friends who complain about this to me. Both are men. I told them I would expect nothing because I don't want anything. One looked at me and said "yeah right!" So just because I'm a woman I need to expect things? I hate that! Unfortunately, since Valentine's day is such a Hallmark holiday, there's not much I can do about it, except not buy anything that goes along with it.

A rant, my First real rant

I frequent Yahoo! Answers and was appalled at what I saw. In the "gender and women's studies" section, people were asking questions that I thought would get positive, pro-feminist answers. I mean, who would troll "gender and women's studies" to try to force their ideas onto people who don't want them? Apparently, I was totally wrong. Someone asked the following question:

Is the modern woman less nurturing towards her children than a traditional woman?

And I am very proud of my answer:

I think comparing the two would be anachronistic. If the words you chose were different, I think I could give a better answer. That being said, a traditional woman, like another person said, had 6+ children, was lucky if she didn't die during childbirth, and was too busy doing housework (imagine washing clothes on a rock!) to be able to cater to her children. While women who work may not have as much time to devote to their children (for example, if they work from 9 AM-6 PM), you have to take this on a case to case basis.

However, it got 2 thumbs down! The first responder quoted the Bible and basically exploded at women who DARE to not submit to their men. He called all women who want to have a career femi-nazi's. If you know anything about me, you know how much I hate that term. I went back to try to find specific parts of his response to let you read, but somehow, it got deleted. Oh well.

But I couldn't believe that people actually think that! He (who chooses to remain anonymous by using the username @xn) responded to a similar question with more of the same crap, using lines such as "There is NO GREATER title or job in the world than that of being a wife and mother. Society today is totally backwards. Women who stay at home and guide the house as God wants them to are often labeled as being "slaves, weak or stupid." On the contrary; they are obeying God's Word, the Bible. Any woman can apply for a job and work 9 to 5, but it takes a God-fearing woman to obey 1st Timothy 5:14."

He goes on and says "For you militant femi-nazi rebels who refuse to cater to a man, listen to the Word of God..." and had said in the other post how even women who are not Christian should listen up to him, lord and master of the entire universe. What a sick bastard! I hope he does something stupid, gets locked up in prison and raped in the ass. No, that's not a nice thing to wish on anyone, and while I might think that, I don't know that I'd ever put that on a PUBLIC forum for him to read. Because something tells me he's that kind of man who would say that it's an honor to kill a passionate, feministic heathen like myself. And how does that encourage him to love me?

As a religion major in college, I read up on most of the Christian texts. And to be perfectly honest, this person is a perfect example of what Jesus DIDN'T want. Jesus, if he existed, wanted people to love each other and get along. How is antagonizing people in the Gender and Women's Studies section loving and getting along with people? How is it right? How is it being a good Christian? There's one simple answer: IT ISN'T. People need to really reread their Bible if they think that "God hates fags" or "thank God for 911," as some of those pathetic people who hold signs do.

Jesus said "love the sinner, hate the sin." Why is that people are more able to quote the fact that Jesus said you shouldn't be gay (when in fact, it was Paul, get your Bible right people!) and cannot remember that all important line?! I just don't understand.

Okay, rant ended, for now.